torch, flambeau@strangeplaces.net
December 20, 2001
Disclaimer: It's all Ces' fault. This is one Canadian shack too many. I'm pretty sure Ellen helped. Do not archive this without permission (though why anyone would want to...).
Untitled shack
"I think we should eat Wufei first."
Wufei sputtered. "Why me?"
"Lots of meat and muscle," Duo explained. "Quatre and Trowa are too skinny."
"What about Heero?"
"He's got gundanium skin. He never even bruises. You want to break your teeth on that?"
"Rather than being consumed myself, yes."
"I'm making cheese sandwiches," Quatre said mildly.
"I know." Duo rocked on his heels. "But, you know, for when the food runs out. We could be here for years. I still vote for Wufei."
Trowa cleared his throat. "If we pick you, we'd have both food and silence."
"And mattress stuffing," Quatre added.
"And the chocolate you hid at the back of the wood pile." Heero poked the fire. "Dinner and dessert."
Duo slumped down. "You all hate me."
"You put snow in my sleeping bag this morning," Wufei said. "It was an unjust and brutal act."
"And for that, I deserve to be eaten?"
Quatre chuckled. "You want to eat Wufei because he exercises regularly. Is that any better? Here."
He tossed over a cheese sandwich. Duo caught it and dropped it on the floor. "Ow! Hot!" He picked it up and looked at it. "Dirty!"
Trowa made a sound that could have been a smothered laugh. Duo glared at him.
Quatre threw sandwiches to the rest of them. Nobody else dropped theirs. Duo brushed wood chips off his and bit into it.
"I think we should eat Heero," Quatre said. "It's probably like eating a ration bar. Vitamin-enhanced. Added nutrients of all kinds."
"Nah. Preservatives," Duo suggested. "Artificial flavoring. Heero's that stuff you find in the fridge two years later and it looks just the same. Wufei, now, Wufei is obviously health food."
"And you're fast food." Trowa shifted, burrowing his feet deeper into the sleeping bag. "Fast and easy."
"You're a rice cake."
"You're a fruitcake."
"Hey!"
"Quatre," Heero said thoughtfully, "is candy."
Everyone nodded.
"Yeah," Duo said, "he should come in a pretty box with a big bow on top."
Wufei leaned forward.
"I think," Trowa said, "that he should just, well, come."
Duo grinned. "Now that you mention it."
"What?" Quatre said, chewing cheese sandwich.
Trowa pounced, dragging him down into the nest of sleeping bags. Quatre squeaked. Duo laughed.
"Definitely the best choice," Wufei said. Heero said nothing, because his mouth was full.
Quatre arched, laughing, into their eager hands. "I can't believe," he gasped, "can't believe — that no one else — oh — wanted this!"
"Well." Duo licked. "I think we should eat Wufei next."
"And save Heero for last," Trowa said, "because he lasts the longest."
"It's all the additives. Ow!"
Quatre's flailing hand brushed Duo's face, and he caught it, sucked in two fingers. Quatre hissed between his teeth.
"Just like candy," Heero paused to say. "Sweet."
Duo smiled. "I want to be next."
Trowa nodded. "Fast food."
"Shut up."
"Make me."
Trowa turned, and Duo laughed, then went silent.
"Heero, you're so goal-oriented," Quatre got out, and then he hiccuped with laughter and orgasm.