October 17-18, 2009

Disclaimer: this is not what happened in episode 39. Written for kink_bingo. Beta by Mary Crawford. Do not archive without permission.

gods and monsters

When Goku first woke up, he thought he was back in the cave. He could smell stone and dirt, the bitter metal of shackles, and there was a chill in the air like that of fall coming early. He felt suddenly hollowed out: had nothing been real? All the fierce joy he took in life and companionship, touch and taste and smell, movement. Perhaps he'd imagined it all, and there was nothing more to his existence than this.

Another breath cleared his head. Stone and chill, but more dust than dirt, and he was chained to the wall, arms spread wide, shoulder throbbing and temples pounding, and the last thing he remembered was--

Was walking towards him, tall and quiet and self-contained, and only chained to himself. Goku tried to glare him to death, but Homura just smiled faintly. His footsteps echoed on the stone floor, and thin shafts of colored light moved across his face as he came closer, blue, purple, blue, purple. Blue.

Goku didn't know where he was, but he hated the colored light, and he hated everything else about the place. Bars and chains, chains and bars, and Homura, who came up to him and started talking about incomprehensible things as though they were in the middle of a conversation, squeezing his injured shoulder until the pain flared, almost distracting Goku from what Homura was saying. Somehow it seemed that Homura was being even weirder than usual. Shouting at him didn't help, but at least it made Goku feel a little better.

Homura brought him water, and he refused it. Homura brought him food, and he refused that too. Homura brought him memories, and that was the worst of all. "Was it like this on Mount Gogyo? Did you feel like this, alone and abandoned?" Homura looked at him, and Homura was much too close. "If you come to me, you'll never be alone again. Son Goku."

This was nothing like the cave. Nothing. Goku blinked to clear away the lines of dark shadows -- like bars -- that wanted to dance before his eyes. At least in the cave he hadn't had this annoying guy talking to him all the time. Telling him things, trying to draw him away from the others. From Sanzo. Standing so close that Goku could just about taste his breath. There was a faint tang of ozone in the air.

Goku gritted his teeth. "You bastard."

"If you come to me, I'll teach you to grow stronger." Homura's fingers trailed across his shoulder again. Maybe it was a threat of more pain, but it didn't quite feel like that. "You need to grow stronger, Son Goku." The shadows on his face made him look sad and happy at the same time.

"I'll grow stronger," Goku snarled. "I'll do it for myself, not for you."

Homura left and came back, left and came back. Goku wasn't sure if Homura really went away or just faded into the shadows. Sometimes he was announced by footsteps, and sometimes he was just there, always standing a little too close and speaking a little too calmly, as if he'd rehearsed the words in his head beforehand.

"You could remember," he said. "Those memories don't need to be chained up."

Goku yanked at his shackles, ignoring the way his left shoulder screamed at him. It seemed to him that he should be able to rip through these chains, stand free and clear, scrub Homura's voice from his skin. "Shut up."

"I could help you." Homura held up a hand, palm up, slightly curved, filled with air. "I would be happy to... You could be so much more than you are, Son Goku. You are already so much more than the others know." He turned his hand sideways, letting the air pour out slowly. "Konzen will not help you with this."

"Who the hell's Konzen," Goku growled.

Homura leaned in to breathe in his ear, "Your Sanzo. To him you are only--"

"Shut up, bastard, shut up!" Goku tried to kick, but his boots met only air. He sagged in his chains. Maybe to Sanzo he was nothing more than a pest and a nuisance, but that wasn't any of Homura's business, and Homura had no right to talk about it, and no right to talk about Sanzo by another name as if he knew him.

There was a pause. Somewhere outside, the rain was still falling. Goku could feel it, very faintly, like a tickle with the very tip of a feather.

He was tired, he was thirsty, he was hungry, he was cranky, his shoulder hurt, and if Homura talked about Sanzo again, Goku was going to kill him.

"I need you to be stronger," Homura said, and Goku snarled, because it was insulting, being told again and again that he was too weak. He was going to get stronger, and he was going to punch that calm look right off Homura's face. Homura tilted his head to one side. "You have changed, but perhaps not enough. Perhaps you need to grow up more."

Distracted from his thoughts of violence, Goku stared. "What? What do you mean?"

Homura trailed his hand along Goku's shackles, down his arm, across his chest. "Surely it's about time."

"Stop that!" Goku tried to shrug away Homura's fingers. "What is wrong with you! You're being--"

"If your body wakes up," Homura said meditatively, "perhaps you will become more. It could be that I've tried to provoke it the wrong way." He patted Goku's left shoulder almost apologetically, then without warning dropped to his knees. "It could be that I should have been doing this all along."

"Hey!" Goku yanked at his chains in disbelief as his jeans were ripped open. "Hey!" He tried to kick, but Homura's hands settled just on the joint between hip and thigh and held him as if he were caught in stone. "Homura, what the hell are you doing!"

"Waking you up," Homura said, breathing heat and ozone against Goku's cock before lapping at it, soft as a cat. Goku's breath hissed in. This was so entirely unexpected, it was almost as though he had trouble believing in it, even when he saw it and felt it. It just couldn't be real, Homura on his knees, the grip that held him all but immobile, that wet heat and wrongness.

"Stop it!" Goku yanked on the chains again. "You pervert, you weird-- You have to stop!" The long shadows in the echoing stone room seemed to draw closer, shutting the two of them into a smaller space, a place where there was barely enough room for the two of them and what was happening between them. Goku didn't know. He knew it was wrong, but he could feel his body changing as Homura tongued him slowly, as Homura began to suck.

Goku shook his head, trying to deny it. There was no unaccustomed heat rising within him, no lightning sparking here and there inside, bringing parts of him to life that had been sleeping quietly, waiting for the day when he would need them. His cock wasn't hard and aching and trying to get deeper into Homura's mouth.

Homura pulled back. "Just like that," he purred, "Son Goku."

"This is wrong," Goku growled. "You have to know this is wrong!" Then he cried out as Homura took him in again, deep and wet, pleasure and wrongness spiralling out through his body from that hot, intense suction. Doors were being wrenched open inside him that had been peacefully shut for centuries. "No." Goku's voice came out in a hiss. "No."

He thought that maddening, vibrating tickle had to be Homura laughing.

The smell of ozone grew stronger. Goku felt a slow sizzle start at the soles of his feet and move up. His body was fighting itself, shaking and trembling, and he strained forward in the chains, shaking his head as if he could somehow undo what Homura's mouth was doing to him, changing in him. Something was rising within him, yes, and he wasn't sure he wanted it, but when he shook his head to deny it--

There was a shimmer of gold in the air, a soft clang of metal against stone, and the sound of Homura choking.

Son Goku hissed as he came, hips jerking. He sucked in a deep breath and tore the chains out of the wall. This one kneeling before him was the wrong one, touched him without permission, smelled wrong, sounded wrong. Words flowed over him, but none of them made any sense, neither yes nor magnificent nor stop, as he began to move. When hands reached to stop him, Son Goku swatted the wrong one aside with a back-handed blow; he crashed into a stone wall and was silent.

Things were different now, Son Goku could feel it. He had changed. There were more hungers inside him, stranger, stronger. The way the wrong one had touched him--

He licked his lips in slow deliberation, and went into the night in search of the right one.

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